This is my story of how I have done at letting go of some things. I started this blog when my son was in High School , during a deployment and facing big life changes. I have come out the other side of those changes. Emptynest, long since empty. Our son is now a Lt in the USMC and now we are facing exiting the Marine Corps possibly in the next few years. One thing I have learned is life is constantly in flux, so this is my life...in flux.
THe Harting Family
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
30 Days fo me Day 23
This is a video my son made to pay homage to his heros..The United States Marines. I love it because he used footage from his dads deployment which makes it even more special. I love how he took the time to sync up the music. Another proud mom moment.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
30 Days of Me--Day 22
Well it is a coincidence that today was asking for a website. About a month ago, maybe longer I was invited to be a guest on Enlisted Spouse Radio and I accepted. Today was the day I was interviewed and it was very interesting and fun. I think the host asked great questions and was truly engaging and made me feel very comfortable and trust me, I was so nervous. Not only do they have a blog radio show you can listen to on Tues & Thurs at 10 am PST :)but they also have an actual community with some great topics. I am a firm believer that you can never have enough support being a spouse in this unique life we have. Please go check out the site, listen to one of the broadcast and I think you will go back for more. They are currently doing Year of the Enlisted Spouse.
So check it out OK!
Enlisted Spouse Community
Drop by and say hi to Beth, Suomi,and Kate. If I am leaving anyone out please forgive me but these are the wonderful woman I heard today!
Monday, June 28, 2010
30 Days of Me--Day 21
Ok, so here's the deal. I do not cook, I do not enjoy cooking but as you can tell from my previous post I do enjoy eating. I can make the basics and no one in my family seems to mind and we all eat well, no one is starving and I can follow a reciepe. The one thing I do enjoy making is a breakfast casserole so here is the one I follow.
BREAKFAST CASSEROLE
1 1/2 pounds sausage
6 slices bread, cubed
1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
6 eggs
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups milk
1 teaspoon dry mustard
4 ounces mushroom pieces, drained
1/4 cup green bell pepper, diced
1/4 cup green onion, diced
Brown sausage, drain. Layer bread in bottom of 9 x 13-inch well-greased baking pan. Sprinkle sausage over bread. Add cheese. Beat eggs and mix with remaining ingredients. Pour slowly over cheese. Refrigerate overnight. Bake at 325 F. for 45 minutes.
Note: Other ingredients may be added or substituted for the vegetables.
Serving Size: 8
Sorry I do not have a picture but trust me it taste good!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
30 Days of Me Day 20
Day 20--A Hobby of Yours
OK, so I am about to out myself and I am doing this for a reason..accountability. You see a Hobby I have had is working out, I love it and I need it and I have done it for a long time, since my early 20's I have always engaged in some sort of exercise. I am not very talented at crafting, sewing, knitting or any traditional hobbies but I have always used my "me" time, to exercise. I have many motivations, health being one. My mother died suddenly at age 47 of a heart attack, my grandmother died at about 51 of a hear attack as well. But if I were to be completely honest and that is my intention I exercise because I am vain. I want to look good and I want to fit in my clothes and I love how it feels to work out. I was never what you would call skinny, and I am curvy I have a big butt and big boobs but have always had a very little waist...so here is why I am outing myself. I need to admit that I have gained weight, a lot of weight. I finally got on a scale this morning and drum roll please....189 lbs, yep..you heard that right. I am 5ft11 but that is still WAY to heavy for me. I have never been this big before and all I can say is that since Oct last year something stressful occurred in my life and I have been eating ever since. I still exercise, everyday and thank goodness I do or who knows how big I would be but I am telling you all this because I am holding myself accountable for this weight gain and I am now determined to get back on track. My hubs, who I love so much and who loves me know matter what, could care less. The only thing he cares about is me being happy and he realized that me being heavy does not make me happy. He will do whatever I need him too, and right now I just need his support and I know I have it..I am a lucky girl to have such a man.
So right now for the next few weeks I am doing the walk from hell, I live on a hillside and I have been running down the hill and trying to run back up..it is steep, I will take a pic and share it with you soon. I am hooking up my Wii Fit again and doing the 30 day challenge again..and I am going to call the gym and get a trainer as soon as I lose the first 10 pounds. I know how to do this, I will do it and I will keep you all updated. I just wanted to share this with you all and any support would be really appreciated! If anyone else is on this journey and need a buddy let me know..we could encourage one another! I will post a before pic here and I will post one every week or so to see what type of progress I am making. Little hard to tell in that pic but I will try to find a better one.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
30 DAYS OF ME --GRADUATION
I picked my talent...I am a supreme bragger about my son and I am really good at it (ok, so maybe that isn't a talent but I wanted to finally share some pics of the day). I have been having a heck of a time uploading these pics with the crappy internet here. So here are a few of the pictures. It was a great day, can't believe it is already over. Man..13 years and he did it and he did it with honor and we couldn't have been more proud. This is truly only a handful of pics from the day. It is Michael with all the people he cares about the most, his father, me, and his girlfriend. The pic at the bottom is of him and Cameron, his best friend for the past 4 years, I call them ebony and ivory, as you can see Michael didn't have time to tan..I love Cameron and miss him already. I think they both learned a lot from one another. He is a Marine brat as well. The pic of him with the 3 other boys are all from his JROTC Unit, and Cameron was as well just couldn't find him for that pic. I love the pic of him and his girlfriend laughing, it is so innocent a moment and I am happy I caught it on film. That is his grandma he is kissing in the one pic! We had a great time, a lot of people came a long way to share that moment with him. We love you all!
Milspouse Friday Fill in #1
1. How did you and your spouse/significant other meet?We met in college in Arizona. I was in the nursing program and he was there getting credits to get in the Marines. At the time it was hard to get in and they wanted more than just a High School Diploma. He actually enlisted in the National Guard so he could get the G.I. Bill to pay for his classes so he could enlist in the Marine Corps. That was very impressive to me. We started talking after I had overheard him saying he was going to join the Marines. I knew a lot about the Marine Corps and I think that impressed him. At that time I swore I would never marry a Marine. My sister was married to a Marine and always alone, Marines deploy a lot even during peace time and I wasn't sure that was the kind of life I wanted for myself. We all know how that turned out (smile)
2. What is the best thing about being a MilSpouse?Being married to my husband is the best thing about being a milspouse. But of course there is the pride knowing my husband is part of something way bigger than himself. Also the community, when the chips are down we will circle the wagons for sure. Being part of the Marine family is very important to me. I was born of a Marine, Married a Marine and will soon be the mom of a Marine.
3. What is the hardest thing about being a MilSpouse?I think the separations are hard. I think the fact that most civilians have no idea what we deal with on a day to day basis.
4. What is your favorite dish?Hands down, spaghetti with Italian sausage.
5. If you could change one thing in this world, what would it be?I would like common sense to make a comeback. I would like to see people be more accountable for their own actions and not blame everything on someone or something else.
Friday, June 25, 2010
30 Days of Me Day 18
Well what would have tickled my fancy would have been finally getting Michaels graduation blog up but for whatever reason blogger will not let me upload my pics..so maybe for tomorrows post, a talent of mine, I will see if I have a talent for getting blogger to do what I would like it too. Our internet here is a bit sketchy but I have had the best time catching up on all the blog post I have missed since our road trip. Fantastic job everyone..your blogs are awesome.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
30 Days of Me Day 17
Without a doubt one of the most recognizable pieces of U.S. Art.
The Iwo Jima Memorial
Gazing upward, at the red, white, and blue speck, Forrestal remarked to Smith: "Holland, the raising of that flag on Suribachi means a Marine Corps for the next five hundred years."
Artist Felix Weihs de Weldon (April 12, 1907–June 3, 2003) was an American sculptor. His most famous piece is the Marine Corps War Memorial of five U.S. Marines and one sailor raising the flag of the United States on Iwo Jima during World War Two.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
30 Days of Me Day 16
This song came out when my hubs was in Iraq on his first tour. It always makes me sad, remembering how worried I was in those early days of the War and just hoping he would be ok. In the Marine Corps even before the wars we would be seperated for months, the longest being 6 months. Back than it was a pain in the butt, more training, another country, how lucky for him to get to see Thailand, or Australia or some other cool place and we still missed him but it was different. Once the wars started it was a whole different thing, it was , will he come home, will everyone we know and love come home? This song makes me sad because it brings me back to all those emotions of knowing my husband was now in a Wartime military.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
An Award!
The rules:
List five (5) things you ♥ and then list five blogs you ♥.
Things I ♥:
1. I ♥ my sons smile, nothing makes me happier than his lips upturned in a smile, melts my heart.
2. I ♥ my husband’s need to make sure I am happy. .
3. I ♥ being part of the military community. There is nothing quite like it in the world.
4. I ♥ working up a good sweat at the gym.
5. I ♥ that no matter how tired we are my husband and I never go to sleep without a kiss and an I love you.
Blogs I ♥:
Nadine @ The Albrecht Squad
Hellcat Betty @ Hellcat Betty
Tiffanie @ My Domestic Niche
Renee @ Waiting to Exhale
Karley@ Boonie Caps and Tiaras
30 Days of Me-15 and New Living Quarters
Well this is an easy one for me. My son has been writing fanfic since he was about 8. The title is Honor, Courage and Commitment. Unfortunately I do not have his permission to share it with you all (I think he is a bit embarrassed) or I would. He is a fantastic writer and I have always loved reading anything he writes. I know I am biased but really his fanfic is the only one I have ever read.
On to another topic. We found out this morning we are #131 on the housing waiting list, yes, you read that right..131. How insane is that. It is surprising to me since our date is actually early May when my hubs separated from his old unit. I am not as stressed about it as I would have been yesterday because we found an an adorable cabin yesterday. It is small. It only has one bedroom but it has a reading area with a pullout bed that my son can use until he leaves for college in Aug. It has sat tv and Internet and all utilities are included as well as being furnished. The only issue we may have is our belongings coming before we get housing..we may have to rent a storage unit in the mean time. I would like to share some pics of our cute new place. I will get some better ones when we move in, the views are amazing.
Well this is an easy one for me. My son has been writing fanfic since he was about 8. The title is Honor, Courage and Commitment. Unfortunately I do not have his permission to share it with you all (I think he is a bit embarrassed) or I would. He is a fantastic writer and I have always loved reading it. I know I am biased but really his fanfic is the only one I have ever read.
On to another topic. We found out this morning we are #131 on the housing waiting list, yes, you read that right..131. How insane is that. It is surprising to me since our date is actually early May when my hubs separated from his old unit. I am not as stressed about it as I would have been yesterday because we found an an adorable cabin yesterday. It is small. It only has one bedroom but it has a reading area with a pullout bed that my son can use until he leaves for college in Aug. It has sat tv and Internet and all utilities are included as well as being furnished. The only issue we may have is our belongings coming before we get housing..we may have to rent a storage unit in the mean time. I would like to share some pics of our cute new place. I will get some better ones when we move in, the views are amazing.
Monday, June 21, 2010
30 Days of Me-Day 14
This was an easy one. I picked Lone Survivor by Marcus Luttrell. The first chapter of this book hits you like a ton of bricks and just gets better. He is one of the many heroes from our long wars. Read it, and than read more about him. Go on line and google him and read about how some punks trespassed on to his land and killed his beloved dog. I don't think those guys realize how lucky they are to still be alive. My heart ached for him after reading about it. I believe the book is being made into a movie, but again, read the book first, you will not be disappointed.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
30 Days of Me--Day 11 and 13
OK, it's time to get back into some sort of routine, as hard as it can be in the tail end of PCS I have to try to reclaim my schedule. Our Internet in our room is finally working (thank goodness) so I thought I would at least start trying to blog again. First order of business is getting back to 30 days. As I stated earlier I skipped Day 11 so I must right that wrong.
Day 11--A photo you have taken recently
OK, totally silly I know but what fun is it to get a new phone and not mess with all the cool apps. And the funny thing about this pic is my dog has a messed up eye so he is a bit of a pirate without the patch, I just gave him one! LOL Love this pic
Happy Fathers Day
I am a lucky girl. I had an amazing father that lost his life in service to our country when I was an infant, I also was lucky enough that my mother met and married a man that would become my dad and has been amazing to me my whole life. I am also lucky to be married to a man who is a fantastic father in word and deed. You see, being a father means so much more than biology. It means being there when your afraid, it means being there to share memories and make new ones. It's about knowing what your favorite color is, who picked on you at school and taught you to always stand up for yourself and never compromise your integrity. Who without a doubt has the strongest arms to wrap around you and even when they aren't there you can feel their love lift you up when your missing them. I am grateful today for the men that have and are in my life.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
ARRIVED
Just to let you all know we arrived yesterday. We are in the good ole TLQ...it's just as average as I remember, WiFi is terrible, currently hooked up via my cell phone which leaves a bit desired but it will do for now. Ride was pretty uneventful with the exception of my windshield getting cracked on Amboy Road, those of you that know the area will not be surprised. We HAVE to get out of the lodge, the pets are cranky and we are too. Hubs can't check with housing till Monday so he we will sit till at least Monday. We will go out today and look around at some temporary places. I have no access to all my clothes since they are in the back of trailer and hubs has to weigh it on Monday so we don't want to unpack it. So till than I am relegated to travel clothes which are basically PT clothes..ugh, gotta love this life.
29 Palms hasn't changed much, base has a little, seems it has grown just a bit which is a good thing. Trying to stay upbeat and optimistic, we all know how hard that is during a PCS. My hope is the wait isn't too long for housing but we are prepared for the worse. Be checking in when I can...thanks for all the great comments, can't wait to get settled and catch up on all your blogs, I really miss them.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Sorry Day 11 and 13....
Thanks for being so patient...I will make it up to you.
Thanks me,
Me
Monday, June 14, 2010
30 Days of Me—Day 12
Day 12—Whatever Tickles My Fancy
First of all so happy I have a second to post (thank you Word 2007). Well this has been an incredibly emotional few days. The graduation, the move, and the friends that came from out of town for the graduation. I am so happy that so many people care for my son and wanted to share his special day. I will, I promise blog about it as soon as I catch my breath. I would like to say thanks for all the congrats on twitter and facebook and from blog friends..Special thanks for Nadine and Tracey who really made sure I wasn't losing it and for Tracey, all I can say is like I told you ..Bring tissue, lots of tissue (her daughter graduates this week). Today we spent the whole day packing up our apartment and cleaning it so we can turn it over in the morning and get on the road for our trip. We cleaned, cleaned and cleaned some more. Our car was not picked up as promised and no worries, I will be smearing the name of the company in upcoming post..A happy customer tells about 5 people, an unhappy one tells 100's and thanks to twitter and blogger and facebook well…I can tell much more.
It was tough today watching my son with his girlfriend, they were helping clean and pack and well, I see the heartache in both their faces, you know how it is..Young love. I know they are smart kids and will find their way in their futures, likely drift apart. Ugh…this life can be so tough on the kids. I really didn't get to say good bye to my friends but they know me and I never say goodbye, I hate that word, words..I always say, See you later.
So let me take a second to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARMY!! AND HAPPY FLAG DAY!! I have learned so much about the Army from all my milspouse friends so I couldn't pass on a chance to say…HOOAH!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
30 Days of Me--Day 9-10
Day 10: A photo of you taken over ten years ago
OK so this was way more than 10 years ago, but I wanted to share it. This is of course my sons baptism, almost exactly one year ago we lost Ricky, in the far left corner, Michael's godfather suddenly and unexpectedly and we miss him more than ever.
Day 9: A photo you took
Friday, June 11, 2010
Dear Son
Tomorrow you graduate, and I am so proud and so overwhelmed with emotions I am afraid I won't make it through the day without embarrassing you just a little. You are an awesome son, and I couldn't be more proud. When you were little every night before bed I would tell you a story. I would tell you that if god lined up all the little boys in the world and said I could have any one I wanted, I would still pick you. I meant it then and and I mean it now. You have made my life such a great adventure these last 18 years and I am a better person because of you.
This is the letter your dad wrote last year when he was in Afghanistan and we had it put in your yearbook, I would like to share it with all my blog friends....
Son, As you reflect back on your journey to becoming a man you can be certain that you could not have made us prouder. Through life experiences that set you apart from many of your peers, you have gained an understanding of the world that few at your station in life have. You have accomplished many things, which at the time seemed impossible, through courage and sheer determination. You have shown measured aggressiveness and unusual compassion while learning valuable life lessons in places that most people have never heard of. You have demonstrated that you understand that a man and his character are judged by many things, and that honor and integrity are things that he cannot compromise. As you graduate and head off to University, know that you have been for many years now, and will continue to be, our hero. Love Mom and Dad
We love you son, congratulations on this milestone in your life and we look forward to all the others.
30 Days of Me---Day 8
I chose this photo because not one image from the wars has made such an impact on me. When I first seen this picture I felt like I knew her, and felt so much pain for her. I prayed I would never walk in her shoes but understood what she was doing and knew I would have done the same. I think about her a lot. Even all this time later.
The night before the burial of her husband’s body, Katherine Cathey refused to leave the casket, asking to sleep next to his body for the last time. The Marines made a bed for her, tucking in the sheets below the flag. Before she fell asleep, she opened her laptop computer and played songs that reminded her of “Cat,” and one of the Marines asked if she wanted them to continue standing watch as she slept. “I think it would be kind of nice if you kept doing it,” she said. “I think that’s what he would have wanted.”
Thursday, June 10, 2010
30 Days of Me--Day 7
There is such a great story behind this photo. I can not look at it without smiling. We had spent a long day walking around London and it was a typical London day, nice but a little wet. It had been a long day and when we finally arrived at the Tower of London I wanted my son to get a pic with one of the guards. Needless to say he really wasn't feeling like cooperating. When the gentleman above caught wind of that he gently grabbed up my son, which took us all a bit by surprise and said something along the lines of "oh you will stand here a get a photo with me" ...it was funny and you can see by the expression on my sons face he found it amusing as well.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
30 Days of Me---Day 6
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
30 Days of Me—Day 5
Day 5—Favorite Quote
I have always loved the writings by Kahlil Gibran. When I was about 14 years old I was given the book "The Prophet" and I still consider it my go to book when something is upsetting me. I can usually find an answer. The quote is from the book and it's from the passages on Love. Anyone that has ever been away from a loved one for an extended period of time should be able to relate.
Love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation
~ Kahlil Gibran
Ok not sure if this is from The Prophet, now that I think about it I am not sure if it is, even though the chapter on Love is my fave in any book ever..if you have different information please contact me and I will correct it..thanks
Monday, June 7, 2010
Empty Nest
Been sitting here all day, trying to get my head in the right place about my son graduating and I am just having a hard time. It isn't just about me, it's about him having to leave his girlfriend, all his friends and start again new. I know it's the natural progression of things and I know he is only able to do this because he has prepared himself to enter college by working hard and carving out a place for himself. I know he will only be about 4 hours from home and I know he will be home in a few months for the holidays. I know all this, yet it still hurts at the thought of him not being safely in his room every night. I love my son, I know he is prepared, so why am I so unprepared? Ok so this is about me....
30 Days of Me--Day 4
O.K. again with the favorites, man it is hard when put on the spot to narrow this down. I must admit I am cheating here, couldn't think of one without the other. So here I am .. twisting the rule just a little. When I was thinking of my favorite books these two titles came to mind at the same time. The reason these books are my favorites are because they came into my life at a time where I was really self evaluating myself in terms of what does a person really need to be happy? I moved to West Africa in 2003 to a tiny country called Togo. We lived in the capital city of Lome. I have to tell you it was life changing. It was life changing for more reasons than I can list here. Never before have I ever been faced with such poverty and human spirit than I was in Lome. Never before had I witnessed what people are when all they have is one another, not stuff. It was amazing, and I know it changed me and my family forever.
OK the first book is non-fiction. The name is The Village of Waiting. It was written by a gentlemen that served in Togo as a Peace Corps volunteer. I met a lot of Peace Corps people in Togo, some hate this book, some identified with it wholeheartedly. But the book gives a great perspective of life in Togo.
My second fave is The Poisonwood Bible. This book is fiction but man it really captured a lot of what living in Africa is like. It doesn't take place in Togo but it sure does take me right back there. When people ask me what it was like living in Togo I tell them to read the book and they might get a little bit of the feeling. When I read it I could smell the smells and hear the sounds. In the opening chapter one of the main characters smells something and it takes her right back, that is kind of what the book does.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
30 DAYS OF ME---DAY 3
This one was easy..I love, love me some Ghost Hunters! Yes, you heard that right. I can't get enough of it. I think it is a great show, love the guys and gals doing the Ghost Hunting..and the reason is this, they are regular people indulging in something they love. There is no drama, no flipping tables, just having fun and they seem to like one another too. How many people get to do that? Do I believe in ghost? I think I do but that is just one of those unknowns. Anyhow this was an easy one for me! What is your favorite?
Also, today is D-Day. For those of you that don't know, "D" stands for the day the operation happened, and what happened is the Invasion of Normandy. If you are not familiar with D Day and its meaning you should research it and find out about the brave souls that were lost that day and those brave souls that lived to tell the story. Today as everyday I will honor those that gave all.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
30 Days of Me Day 2
OK, this may prove to be a hard one. How do you pick a favorite movie from what is likely 1000's of movies I have seen. Do I go with the movie that made me laugh the most? The movie that made me the most angry? The movie that made me cry the hardest? Do I go with a documentary? Do documentaries fall under the "movie" category? Man, this is tough. Thinking back through the years there have been so many great movies. As a matter of fact I used to manage the base video store way, way back in the days. Hmmmm..should have taken more time to ponder this one. But for reasons that are more emotional than cinematic excellence I will go with...drum roll please.
GREASE
Friday, June 4, 2010
30 Days of Me
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Some topics of conversation are off limits | emotions, spouse, spouses - Commentary - Havelock News
Some topics of conversation are off limits emotions, spouse, spouses - Commentary - Havelock News
As any Marine spouse will tell you, deployments are touchy subjects. They are entangled in a heap of emotions that most spouses rarely recognize until the deployment ends and their usual sanity has been restored.
So it should come as no surprise that since Marine spouses can have difficulty pinpointing their emotions, approaching a spouse to inquire about the deployment can be like dodging land mines. There’s a lot of tip-toeing involved.
Conversations about deployment, however brief, have the potential to be discouraging for both the spouse and the inquirer. Someone may approach a spouse very innocently and be answered by an explosion of tears because today is one of the bad days.
Probably more often, the spouse will answer all the questions as politely and as calmly as possible and then go home and scream or cry into a pillow.
I’m saying this not to discourage people from approaching a spouse knee deep in deployment, but to give some conversation guidelines.
While some of the items on my list may seem obvious, I assure you that I wouldn’t have taken the time to list each one if I hadn’t heard it with my own ears.
So, without further ado, here’s a list of topics never to mention to a deployed spouse.
First and foremost, do not try to relate by sharing your own story of separation from your own spouse for a couple of days. It is not, nor will it ever be, the same thing.
You’ll get no sympathy from a Marine spouse for your story about your significant other spending the weekend away for a work conference. Being separated for only a weekend is something we would appreciate.
Second, terrorists. Yes, we’re well aware of what they can do. We know our Marines could run into them at any time while they’re away from us. That doesn’t mean we want to talk about it.
Third, remember that no matter how tough a Marine spouse appears to be, everyone gets a little scared sleeping alone.
There’s no need putting scary thoughts into the mix, so avoid preaching about home security and crime rates
Fourth, please, PLEASE, don’t tell us how worried about our Marines you are. Don’t make a deployed spouse have to console you. You can toughen up just like we have.
Fifth, and this seems like a no-brainer, but I’m sure somebody somewhere needs to hear it. Never, under any circumstance, try to convince a spouse that the war is a waste of time.
Your beliefs are your business, but you couldn’t pick an audience less interested in them. We’d like to believe that our Marines are gone trying to defend your right to have an opinion. You’re welcome.
Finally, please spare us from your perspective on the war and the peace. Remember, however credible you think your cable television news may be, we get our news from the Marines themselves. We have enough going through our heads. We don’t need your war strategies as well.
Kristi Stolzenberg is a Marine wife whose column appears every other week in the Havelock News. She can be reached at kristi.stolz@gmail.com.