THe Harting Family

THe Harting Family

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Something New...A Vent

OK, so even though I have been blogging my pity party the last few months I have been keeping up with everyone else's blogs as well. So I have come across a few blogs in reference to MyCAA that have well, kind of pissed me off. Firstly let me explain, I was not happy when MyCAA was abruptly canceled as evident in some of my blog post about it. I was also equally unhappy with the restrictions that were put out when they re-introduced it. What is really bothering me is how this has now turned into a bitch fest about how unfair it is that some wives are entitled and some are not. I think that is wrong, I think it should be open to all spouses on a as needed basis. But what is really disturbing is how some wives are turning on those who qualify (it's not their fault) and also making them feel inferior for only pursuing a certificate or an Associates. I think it is mean spirited and from what I have been reading making these spouses feel a bit like crap. It doesn't make sense that they won't let you use the funds to get a BA/BS of course, it doesn't make sense that all wives can't apply on an as needed basis, kind of like financial aid. What does make sense is that someone with a BA/BS already maybe should understand that funding is limited so maybe this program should be open to those with no degree or certificate. If you have already been fortunate enough to have finished your degree lets give some of the other spouses a chance. If you are making a lot of money in your current career, maybe we should let those spouses not so fortunate get a chance to do the same. What I really don't like is the sense of "entitlement". Of course it would be nice that DOD recognizes the sacrifices we make as spouses and how it impacts our careers. But let's be real, we chose this life for ourselves and that is part of the package. It has always been that way and it will always be that way, the mission is first and our military members must go where they are needed. I don't like how I am reading that we are "owed" anything and that the military should put family first, they can't. I have been around for 16 years, and let me tell you they are trying to make our lives easier, but mission is important. Maybe that is why younger troops are discouraged from marrying, maybe that is why so many young marriages end in divorce, I am not sure. This life is not for the weak. I am just getting so over hearing about how the wives are being screwed over by the military. This life is a sacrifice, our sacrifice is small compared to those of our spouses. I know this may anger some of my readers and for that I am sorry but really it's the hard truth. MyCAA intent was good, they screwed up, they bit of more than they can chew. But for the wife that may want to get a certificate or an Associates I say go for it! It's a start. If your goal is to get a BA/BS than use the money to get you AA/AS first and than move forward. I think what needs to be changed is the rank restrictions, but that is something we should fight as a whole and not attack those that fall into the current guidelines. Support one another, don't attack. We get enough of that from the civilian world we don't need to do it to one another.


Anonymous said...

As an uneducated wife who is uneligible because of my husbands rank, I definitely can tell how frustrating it is for the young wife [well, I'm only 25] who is marrying and using the funds and her husband is only going to be in for 4 years. It's so frustrating that the Navy gives money to this individual.

I am bitter, but don't hold it against any of the wives I know getting it. I think we're lucky the military is giving ANY of us money to go to school! They don't owe us a dime, I mean, our husbands do pull in a paycheck and volunteered for the job.

Just this week it hit me that all the time women say "you don't wear your husband's rank" or that "there are no ranks among spouses". Yet, we all hold it against eachother- and that's from the O wife who was discriminated against by E wives. Why can't you be my friend? I think I'm a pretty cool gal!

Enough of MY rant... well said and good points! No offense here-and if readers do get offended or angered, face the humanity aspect of life and be thankful for what you've got.

USMCWIFE said...

I agree completely. Another thought is to make it a retention tool. Much like transferring of the GI Bill. Allow a wife to receive the funds if the spouse agrees to re-enlist. A spouse who's husband is getting out after 4 years will not have to face the same struggles as a wife who stays in this life. Good point!

TheAlbrechtSquad said...

I have quit visiting a lot of MilSpouse blogs for this very reason, the cattiness. It annoys me and it so unbecoming of these women.

While I agree with all you said about MyCAA, I am not going to be a hater to those who do receive. What purpose does that really serve, it's not going to make the policy suddenly change.

There is a lot of money out there that isn't being utilized, it takes a little bit of effort to find it in some cases but it's out there.

The sense of entitlement makes me nuts, you and I have talked about it before. I think people forget that we CHOSE this life and while our sacrifices are often great, it doesn't mean we are owed anything in return.

USMCWIFE said...

As usual we see eye to eye! Thanks for your input and you are dead on right.