Tuesday, April 20, 2010
When a Child Dies
Yesterday I woke up to the realization it was the 15th anniversary of the Oklahoma City Bombing. I remember how horrified I was to hear about it. It was one of those moments in history that everyone remembers where they were when they heard the news. I was at work, my hubs was in Marine Corps school, he had just gotten finished boot camp. I remember hearing about the children, how horrible, all those children and all the grief for the loved ones. About an hour later I was drinking coffee watching the news and on the Internet as usual. I heard a story about an accident in our old neighborhood, yes, the one we just left a week earlier. I heard a 16 year old had been driving and the 14 year old had been killed and the driver and another passenger were airlifted to the hospital. Again I thought "how horrible" the death of a child. And again I figured my son would more than likely know the child and was worried how he may take it. A little while longer I got a text from my hubs and it said, "call me I know who it was" So I did and he was right he did know who it was and so did I. It was a friend of ours little girl Haley and not only was Haley killed her older sister Amanda and younger brother John were hurt and in the hospital. Amanda is a classmate of Michael's and their dad was my husbands old boss before he retired and they lived down the street from us and we spent time at gatherings at their home. Now it was personal, I thought of Lori, their mother, how she must be. I found out later that Lori actually was at the scene and my heart broke. How many parents send their kids off to school and never see them again, how do you wrap your head around that. I don't even know what to say to Lori, to Top Mills. I hope I come up with something before I am face to face with them. Even though I know not one word in any language will ever make them feel OK. When my son came home I was so worried about him and how he reacted when he heard about the Mills kids. He was OK, probably better than me. I know our kids are all too familiar with death, our military children who hear of it and deal with it far too often in their young lives. But this was different. He said it was sad, he said everyone was talking about it at school and worried about Amanda and if she will be OK. Later that evening Michael was sitting next to me on his computer and he was on facebook, sharing his feelings with his peers, seems the accident was what all the kids were talking about. It occurred to me that is how children also reach out in times of grief. So somewhere in their discussions they all decided to wear black to school today in memory of Haley. I am happy they were able to come together to share how they felt. That is what I do on my blog and via twitter. Just remember the days ahead will be dark for the Mills family please send all your best out in the universe for them. They will need it.