Been sitting here all day, trying to get my head in the right place about my son graduating and I am just having a hard time. It isn't just about me, it's about him having to leave his girlfriend, all his friends and start again new. I know it's the natural progression of things and I know he is only able to do this because he has prepared himself to enter college by working hard and carving out a place for himself. I know he will only be about 4 hours from home and I know he will be home in a few months for the holidays. I know all this, yet it still hurts at the thought of him not being safely in his room every night. I love my son, I know he is prepared, so why am I so unprepared? Ok so this is about me....
THe Harting Family
Monday, June 7, 2010
Empty Nest
30 Days of Me--Day 4
Day 4---Favorite Book
O.K. again with the favorites, man it is hard when put on the spot to narrow this down. I must admit I am cheating here, couldn't think of one without the other. So here I am .. twisting the rule just a little. When I was thinking of my favorite books these two titles came to mind at the same time. The reason these books are my favorites are because they came into my life at a time where I was really self evaluating myself in terms of what does a person really need to be happy? I moved to West Africa in 2003 to a tiny country called Togo. We lived in the capital city of Lome. I have to tell you it was life changing. It was life changing for more reasons than I can list here. Never before have I ever been faced with such poverty and human spirit than I was in Lome. Never before had I witnessed what people are when all they have is one another, not stuff. It was amazing, and I know it changed me and my family forever.
OK the first book is non-fiction. The name is The Village of Waiting. It was written by a gentlemen that served in Togo as a Peace Corps volunteer. I met a lot of Peace Corps people in Togo, some hate this book, some identified with it wholeheartedly. But the book gives a great perspective of life in Togo.
My second fave is The Poisonwood Bible. This book is fiction but man it really captured a lot of what living in Africa is like. It doesn't take place in Togo but it sure does take me right back there. When people ask me what it was like living in Togo I tell them to read the book and they might get a little bit of the feeling. When I read it I could smell the smells and hear the sounds. In the opening chapter one of the main characters smells something and it takes her right back, that is kind of what the book does.
O.K. again with the favorites, man it is hard when put on the spot to narrow this down. I must admit I am cheating here, couldn't think of one without the other. So here I am .. twisting the rule just a little. When I was thinking of my favorite books these two titles came to mind at the same time. The reason these books are my favorites are because they came into my life at a time where I was really self evaluating myself in terms of what does a person really need to be happy? I moved to West Africa in 2003 to a tiny country called Togo. We lived in the capital city of Lome. I have to tell you it was life changing. It was life changing for more reasons than I can list here. Never before have I ever been faced with such poverty and human spirit than I was in Lome. Never before had I witnessed what people are when all they have is one another, not stuff. It was amazing, and I know it changed me and my family forever.
OK the first book is non-fiction. The name is The Village of Waiting. It was written by a gentlemen that served in Togo as a Peace Corps volunteer. I met a lot of Peace Corps people in Togo, some hate this book, some identified with it wholeheartedly. But the book gives a great perspective of life in Togo.
My second fave is The Poisonwood Bible. This book is fiction but man it really captured a lot of what living in Africa is like. It doesn't take place in Togo but it sure does take me right back there. When people ask me what it was like living in Togo I tell them to read the book and they might get a little bit of the feeling. When I read it I could smell the smells and hear the sounds. In the opening chapter one of the main characters smells something and it takes her right back, that is kind of what the book does.
Ok so that is it, I know I bent the rules a tad but sometimes you just have to bend them!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
30 DAYS OF ME---DAY 3
DAY 3--FAVORITE TELEVISION SHOW
This one was easy..I love, love me some Ghost Hunters! Yes, you heard that right. I can't get enough of it. I think it is a great show, love the guys and gals doing the Ghost Hunting..and the reason is this, they are regular people indulging in something they love. There is no drama, no flipping tables, just having fun and they seem to like one another too. How many people get to do that? Do I believe in ghost? I think I do but that is just one of those unknowns. Anyhow this was an easy one for me! What is your favorite?
Also, today is D-Day. For those of you that don't know, "D" stands for the day the operation happened, and what happened is the Invasion of Normandy. If you are not familiar with D Day and its meaning you should research it and find out about the brave souls that were lost that day and those brave souls that lived to tell the story. Today as everyday I will honor those that gave all.
This one was easy..I love, love me some Ghost Hunters! Yes, you heard that right. I can't get enough of it. I think it is a great show, love the guys and gals doing the Ghost Hunting..and the reason is this, they are regular people indulging in something they love. There is no drama, no flipping tables, just having fun and they seem to like one another too. How many people get to do that? Do I believe in ghost? I think I do but that is just one of those unknowns. Anyhow this was an easy one for me! What is your favorite?
Also, today is D-Day. For those of you that don't know, "D" stands for the day the operation happened, and what happened is the Invasion of Normandy. If you are not familiar with D Day and its meaning you should research it and find out about the brave souls that were lost that day and those brave souls that lived to tell the story. Today as everyday I will honor those that gave all.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
30 Days of Me Day 2
Day 2--My favorite Movie
OK, this may prove to be a hard one. How do you pick a favorite movie from what is likely 1000's of movies I have seen. Do I go with the movie that made me laugh the most? The movie that made me the most angry? The movie that made me cry the hardest? Do I go with a documentary? Do documentaries fall under the "movie" category? Man, this is tough. Thinking back through the years there have been so many great movies. As a matter of fact I used to manage the base video store way, way back in the days. Hmmmm..should have taken more time to ponder this one. But for reasons that are more emotional than cinematic excellence I will go with...drum roll please.
GREASE
OK, this may prove to be a hard one. How do you pick a favorite movie from what is likely 1000's of movies I have seen. Do I go with the movie that made me laugh the most? The movie that made me the most angry? The movie that made me cry the hardest? Do I go with a documentary? Do documentaries fall under the "movie" category? Man, this is tough. Thinking back through the years there have been so many great movies. As a matter of fact I used to manage the base video store way, way back in the days. Hmmmm..should have taken more time to ponder this one. But for reasons that are more emotional than cinematic excellence I will go with...drum roll please.
GREASE
I picked this movie because it reminds me of my mom who died about 19 years ago, very young and very suddenly. I remember my mom taking me to see this movie and I really loved it so she took me to see it 3 more times that same week. As a mom now I can tell you that when your kid falls in love with a movie it is so nice to pop that DVD in the player and let them watch it to their hearts content, and wwhile they are doing that you can go clean, do laundry or cook or sit and read a book while they are indulging themselves none the wiser. My mother actually paid to take me to see that movie in the theater 4 times in the same week, and never complained. Maybe she liked it as much as I did? I don't know, I do knowit's one of my favorite memories and that is why I picked that it. What is your favorite movie?
Friday, June 4, 2010
30 Days of Me
Someone sent me this on Facebook and I thought I would share. I think it is a cute idea, sorry if it gets old, but I am in!! So I will have a new post day 1 thru 30 and I can't wait to answer all the fun questions.. If you would like to join along please feel free to do so.
30 Days of ME!
Day 1: Your favorite song
Today that song would have to be Pomp and Circumstance because I finally walked at my graduation. OK technically it's a march but it is a song to me, today. It was hot and sticky but I am happy I did it (not graduate but actually go to the commencement)My hubs was the one that wanted me to do it so I caved and I am happy that I did. Also I scored a sweet pair of diamond earrings I have been wanting for about 16 years and he got them for me!! I feel pretty special today, not because of the earrings, but because I have a husband that always supports me and inspires me and a son that is my personal cheerleader every step of the way. I also had tons of encouragement from the milspouse community on twitter and facebook. Thank you for all those, "yes, you can!" words of encouragement when I was about to lose my mind in Math class...you guys rock! I am a lucky woman.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Some topics of conversation are off limits | emotions, spouse, spouses - Commentary - Havelock News
Great article I came across today.
Some topics of conversation are off limits emotions, spouse, spouses - Commentary - Havelock News
As any Marine spouse will tell you, deployments are touchy subjects. They are entangled in a heap of emotions that most spouses rarely recognize until the deployment ends and their usual sanity has been restored.
So it should come as no surprise that since Marine spouses can have difficulty pinpointing their emotions, approaching a spouse to inquire about the deployment can be like dodging land mines. There’s a lot of tip-toeing involved.
Conversations about deployment, however brief, have the potential to be discouraging for both the spouse and the inquirer. Someone may approach a spouse very innocently and be answered by an explosion of tears because today is one of the bad days.
Probably more often, the spouse will answer all the questions as politely and as calmly as possible and then go home and scream or cry into a pillow.
I’m saying this not to discourage people from approaching a spouse knee deep in deployment, but to give some conversation guidelines.
While some of the items on my list may seem obvious, I assure you that I wouldn’t have taken the time to list each one if I hadn’t heard it with my own ears.
So, without further ado, here’s a list of topics never to mention to a deployed spouse.
First and foremost, do not try to relate by sharing your own story of separation from your own spouse for a couple of days. It is not, nor will it ever be, the same thing.
You’ll get no sympathy from a Marine spouse for your story about your significant other spending the weekend away for a work conference. Being separated for only a weekend is something we would appreciate.
Second, terrorists. Yes, we’re well aware of what they can do. We know our Marines could run into them at any time while they’re away from us. That doesn’t mean we want to talk about it.
Third, remember that no matter how tough a Marine spouse appears to be, everyone gets a little scared sleeping alone.
There’s no need putting scary thoughts into the mix, so avoid preaching about home security and crime rates
Fourth, please, PLEASE, don’t tell us how worried about our Marines you are. Don’t make a deployed spouse have to console you. You can toughen up just like we have.
Fifth, and this seems like a no-brainer, but I’m sure somebody somewhere needs to hear it. Never, under any circumstance, try to convince a spouse that the war is a waste of time.
Your beliefs are your business, but you couldn’t pick an audience less interested in them. We’d like to believe that our Marines are gone trying to defend your right to have an opinion. You’re welcome.
Finally, please spare us from your perspective on the war and the peace. Remember, however credible you think your cable television news may be, we get our news from the Marines themselves. We have enough going through our heads. We don’t need your war strategies as well.
Kristi Stolzenberg is a Marine wife whose column appears every other week in the Havelock News. She can be reached at kristi.stolz@gmail.com.
Some topics of conversation are off limits emotions, spouse, spouses - Commentary - Havelock News
As any Marine spouse will tell you, deployments are touchy subjects. They are entangled in a heap of emotions that most spouses rarely recognize until the deployment ends and their usual sanity has been restored.
So it should come as no surprise that since Marine spouses can have difficulty pinpointing their emotions, approaching a spouse to inquire about the deployment can be like dodging land mines. There’s a lot of tip-toeing involved.
Conversations about deployment, however brief, have the potential to be discouraging for both the spouse and the inquirer. Someone may approach a spouse very innocently and be answered by an explosion of tears because today is one of the bad days.
Probably more often, the spouse will answer all the questions as politely and as calmly as possible and then go home and scream or cry into a pillow.
I’m saying this not to discourage people from approaching a spouse knee deep in deployment, but to give some conversation guidelines.
While some of the items on my list may seem obvious, I assure you that I wouldn’t have taken the time to list each one if I hadn’t heard it with my own ears.
So, without further ado, here’s a list of topics never to mention to a deployed spouse.
First and foremost, do not try to relate by sharing your own story of separation from your own spouse for a couple of days. It is not, nor will it ever be, the same thing.
You’ll get no sympathy from a Marine spouse for your story about your significant other spending the weekend away for a work conference. Being separated for only a weekend is something we would appreciate.
Second, terrorists. Yes, we’re well aware of what they can do. We know our Marines could run into them at any time while they’re away from us. That doesn’t mean we want to talk about it.
Third, remember that no matter how tough a Marine spouse appears to be, everyone gets a little scared sleeping alone.
There’s no need putting scary thoughts into the mix, so avoid preaching about home security and crime rates
Fourth, please, PLEASE, don’t tell us how worried about our Marines you are. Don’t make a deployed spouse have to console you. You can toughen up just like we have.
Fifth, and this seems like a no-brainer, but I’m sure somebody somewhere needs to hear it. Never, under any circumstance, try to convince a spouse that the war is a waste of time.
Your beliefs are your business, but you couldn’t pick an audience less interested in them. We’d like to believe that our Marines are gone trying to defend your right to have an opinion. You’re welcome.
Finally, please spare us from your perspective on the war and the peace. Remember, however credible you think your cable television news may be, we get our news from the Marines themselves. We have enough going through our heads. We don’t need your war strategies as well.
Kristi Stolzenberg is a Marine wife whose column appears every other week in the Havelock News. She can be reached at kristi.stolz@gmail.com.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)