Anatomy of a Military Spouse

**This is a blog post from my friend Kama, our husbands work together and are deployed together. Kama is a rare soul. She is a military spouse, she is an athlete, she is a mother but most of all she is a great friend. Always upbeat, always optimistic and always trying to help others better themselves in a non preachy very helpful way. She blogs on Semper Finest Care Packages and this is one of her latest post and I wanted to share it with you all. I hope you all love it as much as I do.

Anatomy Of A Military Spouse

You walk past a woman with two kids in tow. She seems frazzled, as her kids begin running around her in circles, though she barely seems to notice. On her wrist is a band you recognize, but only abstractly. You can tell it must be her last name, and that the print is military in nature, but you aren’t sure what branch she is representing. It doesn’t matter now, it clicks in your head – she must be a military spouse. Since it is a Saturday afternoon at the park and she seems to be alone, coupled with the bracelet adorning her wrist, you make up your mind her husband is deployed. You are right.

You feel bad for her, for her ‘situation’, as it looks like she could use some help and might not be getting any for quite some time. Her kids are fighting, and she swoops down with the calm of a mother and sternness of a father, dousing the fire before it gets out of hand. You are impressed at her swiftness, and how able she seems despite being a single parent. You catch her eye and she smiles, and you see something more, something beyond the basic observations you made earlier. She is strong. She’ll be fine. You are right.

At this point you sit down at the picnic table where she has now opened a book and settled into her afternoon at the park. You tell her your name, and that of your kids’, and she gives hers as well. You get up the nerve to ask her if she is military and she says that yes, she is. You go one step further and ask if her husband is deployed. He is. Wow, you say. For how long? How do you manage at home with two little ones and no help? She smiles and says, A year, but I have help. She goes on to tell you of her ‘sisters’, other military spouses who are going through the deployment with her, some with kids, some without, all unified in their strength to not just survive this, but thrive in it. They take turns running while one watches the kids. They get together in the evenings for a glass of wine once a month at least. They understand that with loneliness comes solitude; that with his absence comes independence. Interesting. She seems like she has it all under control. You are right.

She works full time, takes the kids to soccer and ballet, recitals and school plays, doctors’ visits and dentist appointments, and sometimes – just sometimes – she reads a book at night till she falls asleep. She smiles guiltily like she considers it a vice. She runs marathons, has a college degree and again, sheepishly, confesses to love The Real Housewives of L.A. Most of all, she loves her kids and her husband. Wow, you say again, this time to yourself, this is one of the most amazing women I have ever met. You are right.

Aren’t you scared, you ask her. Of what, she replies. That he might not come home you answer somberly. Her smile fades, and a look of peace and wisdom beyond her years creeps over her face. I am a military spouse, she says with pride. I chose this life as much as my husband did. I am prouder of him and his sacrifices than I could ever be afraid. Because the thing I fear most is having nothing to stand behind, to stand up for. I believe in him and if he doesn’t come home, I will let my kids know what a hero their dad is. You take this in a moment before you reply. You don’t want to sound corny, or out of place, but she is the hero too you say. You are right.

It Could Have Been Mine

Our battalion lost another Marine this past week. A young Marine, a LCpl by the name of Christopher Camero. It hasn't made it to the Media yet, but I am sure it will soon. LCpl Camero turned 19 years old this past February, just 3 months older then my son. LCpl Camero graduated from High School last year with the class of 2010. The same year as my son. But this wasn't mine, but it could have been, it hit close to home. My heart goes out to this young mans family, his mother, those he loved. Christopher was from the beautiful Island of Hawaii. I am not sure where he will make his final resting place. I am not sure how he will be honored and remembered but I do know I will never forget this was someones son. Aren't they all someones son? Please remember this young man and say his name.

RIP LCpl CHRISTOPHER CAMERO

Day is done, gone the sun
From the lakes, from the hills, from the sky
All is well, safely rest
God is near.
Fading light dims the sight
And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright
From afar, drawing near
Falls the night.
Thanks and praise for our days
Neath the sun, neath the stars, neath the sky
As we go, this we know
God is near.

Wordless Wednesday--3rd Battalion 4th Marines Lima Co.

Pride

My hubs, he has grown some hair which is so odd to me, I am so used to the bald head. He is under strict orders to return home sans hair..!! This is the first image of him I have seen for months!

Nothing can take away the pride I feel for my husband and his Marines. The Marines of 3rd Battalion 4th Marines rock. And the Marines of 3/4 Lima Co. Well I have an extra soft spot for these guys. They have faced a difficult deployment and they still have a fair amount of time left, but my heart could literally explode when I think of them, of all the 3/4 Marines in general. I think of our families of our wounded, the ones you don't see in the paper, or the news crawls, the ones that have seen their Marines come home missing a body part or nursing a gun shot wound or wounds. Who although their deployment is over, it isn't really because now they are nursing their wounded Marine, and knowing that their Marine wants more then anything to be back in the fight, back with their brothers. And even though they have done their part and their brothers are grateful they are still alive, it is something that will sit with them until they are ALL home. My heart aches for the families of our fallen, how they are dealing with their grief while we are still waiting for our Marines to get home. Are they still waiting? Does that feeling ever go away for them? It's a part of my thoughts every day, at least once maybe twice or more, "how are they doing today?"
I reflect over the first part of this deployment, and how far we still have to go and I am grateful for the friends I have made, some I know will be friends for life, you don't go through this stuff without finding what people are made of, that is for sure. I am so grateful to a handful of ladies that make all this bearable. We have been there for one another and we will continue too. I think some of our husbands will be so surprised to see that some of us are now as close as some of them are, it should make for an awesome Marine Corps Ball this year that is for sure. I just hope everyone is thinking about those still out there. As our current administration spins tales about the draw-down and those of us in the know want so badly to think it is true but know deep inside that it's still a long road for our loved ones. We know that our husbands have not stepped on the sand in Afghanistan for the last time.
Well I started this blog just to show you all my handsome hubs but thought I would write something to go along with it...
Please send your good thoughts to all our Marines of The Darkside.

FREEDOM

Freedom is never free. ~Author Unknown

It Wasn't My Intention....

It was never my intention to have to turn my blog into a Memorial site but I am afraid that is what it has become these last few months. I learned earlier this week that my husbands company lost another Marine, our Battalions 3rd in 6 weeks. My heart breaks a little more with every Marine that we lose, every family member that we have to say good-bye too. I am friends with this young Marines mother on facebook, as the family readiness advisor I have the pleasure of getting to know a lot of our families. I am not sure if that makes it better or worse. It just is what it is. Marks father as you will read below is a Navy Commander, which makes Marks mom a Navy Wife as well as a Marine Mom. She is asking for prayers and healing and I wish I could hand deliver those both to her I would in a second. Please keep this family in your thoughts, please like I have asked and will continue to ask from my readers is say this young mans name, let us never forget his sacrifice.
Please keep 3/4 "The Darkside" in your thoughts as well. Thank you.
Thank you Cpl. Mark Goyet, we will never forget you.



CORPUS CHRISTI — A Sinton Marine killed Tuesday in Afghanistan has been promoted posthumously and is being honored for valor in combat.

Mark Goyet's family learned Thursday he was advanced from lance corporal to corporal and is being awarded the Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medal with "V" for Combat Valor.

Goyet, 22, was killed in action Tuesday during combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan.

He enlisted in the Marine Corps on Feb. 25, 2008, and was in his second combat deployment. He volunteered for service in Afghanistan after serving in Iraq.

A Marine casualty assistance case officer visited Goyet's family for several hours Thursday and informed them of the increased rank and medal, the Marine's father Navy Cmdr. Raymond Goyet said.

Mark Goyet's body was expected to arrive in Dover, Del. Thursday, but U.S. Department of Defense officials told the family it could take several days before he will return to Texas.

"Plans for funeral services and memorials will be made as our son arrives home," Goyet said.

The younger Goyet was a mortar man assigned to 3rd Battalion, 4th Regiment, 1st Marine Division, Marine Corps Ground Combat Training Center Twentynine Palms, Calif.

His other service awards include the Purple Heart, Combat Action Ribbon, National Defense Service Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal, Marine Corps Good Conduct Medal and Afghanistan Campaign Medal.