Friday, April 15, 2011
So yesterday marked a week since I have last put eyes on the love of my life. I think I am kinda in denial but I am not sure. I have had some contact from him as he makes it to his final destination. I am not worried about OPSEC here because I have no idea where that will be, just a general idea. I am free to say he is gone, when he left, and he's in Afghanistan, the base paper clearly stated all those facts. So no nasty OPSEC lectures, I am clear on the rules. This is going to be a tough spring for The Darkside. I have confidence in their training, I know they are "bad ass". I just think I have become numb at deployment. I was asked yesterday, as happens when you converse about deployments with civilians "How do you handle it when he is gone?", I quite easily without hesitation stated, "I am so used to it by now, after all it has been 10 years." and that was that. Not a second thought, not a blink of an eye, just very matter of fact. Problem is I meant it and felt it, I am just used to it. I know I am just going through the motions to the point in deployment where you are no longer "used to it" or could you ever be, the point when the wounded start coming back and when we start taking casualties. I almost said "losing our Marines" but we don't really "lose" them. They get killed. No easy way to say it, it happens. No one is immune to it, the infantry especially. So maybe I should enjoy my litter river in Egypt for a bit because I know sooner rather then later the reality is going to crash into me, and to those people that I care so deeply for. It's been a week.